How To Love Your Spouse Better On Valentine's Day

by Jarrod McClintick

by Jarrod McClintick

So Valentine's Day is right around the corner. Does that make you anxious? Do you struggle with making sure your spouse feels loved?

I'm going to say something that may surprise you: Love isn't a feeling. Love is demonstrated by actions. And demonstrating love is one of the most important ways you can obey the words of Jesus (1 John 4:7-12, Ephesians 5:22-28). Real love is not about feeling an emotion, but about remaining committed to a person.

Here are some practical tips for loving your spouse this Valentines's Day:

1. Start With The Basics

Simply serve each other (Ephesians 5:21). If your wife typically makes dinner and does the dishes, take those tasks over for the day. If your husband does the shopping or cleans the house, give him the day off. Sometimes taking on your spouse's tasks demonstrates your love for them.

2. Give A "Different" Gift

Do you give her flowers and candy every year? Do something different that shows you're being thoughtful. Prove how well you know your spouse by buying or giving something more personal or even useful than the typical gift.
*Disclaimer: If your wife's favorite thing in the world is flowers and candy, don't apply this tip.

3. Seduce Each Other

Yes, I said it. And I won't apologize. Sex was designed by God for husbands and wives. Married couples have the God-ordained gift of loving and enjoying each other in committed intimacy. The world will lie to you, and tell you that sex is just as good outside of that commitment. But no other relationship will provide you with the gift of sexual intimacy the way God intended.

4. Give An Experience, Not A Gift

Spend time together, rather than money. Experience something new together, make a special meal at home, visit a place you've never been, try a new recreational activity. Cards and flowers typically get tossed, but shared memories last for years and years.

5. Open Your Mouth

Say something, for crying out loud. We don't use words enough in our society. Tell your spouse why you love him or her. There is nothing like speaking openly and honestly about what you admire, respect, or enjoy about your spouse. Words of affirmation can create intimacy beyond the everyday "I love you." (Proverbs 16:24)

6. Write Your Own Words

Hallmark is considered the master of romance, right? No, they don't have a monopoly. There's nothing wrong with buying a card, but add your own words to it, rather than just signing your name. Tell your spouse what you love about him or her. Share how you feel.

7. Simple Reminders

This is the easiest one people! And it makes such a difference. Send a few text messages throughout the day. Leave a note on her bathroom mirror. When spouses remind each other of how much they're loved or appreciated, it creates a spark, and you start communicating better on other subjects as well.